Problems, We All Have Them, But What’s The Solution?

“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking that created them.”

Albert Einstein (hybrid quote)

“The problem isn’t that life’s complicated, as if it can’t be understood or figured out, but more in that our thinking is what makes it complicated.” – Bradford Lee Mace

“Bottom line, I removed myself from the victim mentality and took control of my life. I’m not just going to take responsibility for the success in my life – I’m going to take responsibility for the failures in my life. When you’re willing to accept that you’re the problem, you immediately become the solution.” – Eric Thomas

The lesson I learned from my daughter’s

Take a child, for example,

They often see life more clearly than most adults.

If you don’t believe me, try testing it as I’ve done.

Of course, you’ll have to have children to test this on. lol

Over the years I’ve given my daughter’s real-life scenarios, from my personal experiences.

And asked them specific questions in search of finding the answer to the challenges these scenarios presented.

What I noticed was astounding!

  • They immediately identified the heart of the matter.
  • It was easy for my daughters to see the situation from both points of view.
  • They quickly identified the issue that was causing the problem or misunderstanding.
  • And promptly came up with a solution that was fair and reasonable.

Why was it easy for them?

Simple, they didn’t have any baggage complicating their thinking.

They had clarity because they had no baggage or as I call it “trash thinking.”

More specifically they didn’t have a bias nor was pride getting in their way and more importantly, their feelings weren’t in control of their thinking.

What’s the take away here,

If you want to simplify your life and find more efficient solutions to your problems, you have to clean up your thinking and take out the trash.

  • Remove your pride from the equation.
  • Leave your feelings at the door, this isn’t about your feelings or theirs, it’s about marrying the logical and creative sides of your brain to solve your problem. And feelings get in the way of accomplishing that!
  • Remove any preconceived notions or bias thinking.
  • Put yourself in the other person’s shoes so you can honestly see their point of view.
  • Find common ground that you can readily agree upon.
  • Ask lots of questions that are specific in nature, don’t be vague. Being vague creates fog and makes it even harder to see the end of the road.
  • Have a foundation of truth, but be willing to build additional properties on it, if that’s what the solution requires.

With my last point I’m not implying that you change your foundation for truth, however, what I am saying is that often times it’s as simple as establishing a healthy compromise.

Because not all compromise is terrible and for any healthy relationship to thrive both parties need to be willing to reach common ground which is what healthy compromise is and looks like.

“When you find no solution to a problem, it’s probably not a problem to be solved but rather a truth to be accepted.” Anonymous

This isn’t exhaustive and for clarity and full disclosure, I taught my daughter’s and helped them to develop these skills, at a very early age in life;

  • Critical thinking
  • Deductive reasoning

My motivation for teaching my daughters these specific life skills was to empower them. However, on a micro level I wanted to protect them from being taken advantage of by boys or men, as they grow older.

However, on a deeper level, these skills are invaluable tools for life and can be applied to any problem, experience or challenge anyone faces.

Final thoughts,

90% of our problems are self-inflicted and more often than not can be easily solved by changing the way we think.

By the way,

Often times people get their feelings confused with their gut instinct.

They’re not the same!

Our feelings involve our emotions,

While our gut instinct comes from knowing something deep within us, but we can’t yet see the bigger picture and aren’t yet able to place our finger on what’s explicitly wrong. But we know something’s amiss! That’s our gut instinct.

Just think about it.

“When you have a ‘solution thinking mindset’ – and choose to focus 80% of your thoughts/words on solutions – you will not only be heading more speedily to long-term success, but you will immediately feel better in the moment.” – Karen Salmansohn